What is the message we are sending out to our children?
Article continued from the previous segment about Ownership and Accountability. [https://gokids.com.au/responsibility-and-ownership]
Take my daughter for an example, she agreed to the commitment when she filled out the form and was aware of the responsibilities when she attended an interview with the representative of Assistance Dogs Australia. We even had to attend at least two sessions of basic puppy training classes before they would agree to let us have the puppy. The Assistance Dogs Association has done their part to prepare us for the responsibilities that we agreed to.
We have to admit that my daughter knew what she was getting into, she understood the responsibilities and commitments she had to fulfill…from what was told and what was written on the paper.
However, I now look at it, those written and verbal wordings were intellectual understanding. In other words, Eileen only understood those commitments based on the face value, but never really understood the actual TRUE meaning of “responsibility”, which I call Accountability and Ownership.
Why Accountability and Ownership?
With accountability, Eileen needs to really dig deep down to her inner awareness and to start taking ownership of the situation, and to truly accept that not only she has a responsibility to fulfill her commitment; she is ultimately responsible and accountable for the well being of Goldie.
Until she accepts the ownership of her commitment, only then will she excel in this endeavour. For example, to be truly in charge of this project, to create time, make time to train by either getting up earlier or getting home earlier, and to execute the training.
I personally believe that if you truly want something badly enough, you will ALWAYS find the time and means to fulfill your desire!
To all the parents, no matter what or which project your child or even yourself are undertaking, until people take full ownership of the projects themselves, the project will only be HALF fulfilled. Your children may always feel that they are doing the project for someone else and NOT for themselves.
In order for them to truly take ownership of the project, their mindset has to be shifted. They have to be aware that THEY are in charge; THEY are personally accountable for the outcome! Only then will they take the project seriously and ultimately OWN it. That is the difference between a GOOD and an EXCELLENT project!
Well, how are we going empower Eileen to do that? We are leaving to go overseas for two weeks and Eileen will be at home. She is fully responsible for all communication with the association, trainers, arrange dog sittings for the days she is at the uni, and at the same time, have to look after herself! This will give her an excellent opportunity to take a long hard look at what’s going on in her life right now and to start taking stock, and take ownership for the next step, to STEP UP and to let her true capability shines through!
As for parents, the best way you can empower your children to really take ownership of their projects/chores is to STEP BACK, and be there when they need you, rather than offering to help them when they are still figuring out the process.
I know I am guilty of this MANY MANY times… and now when I look back at what I’ve done and why I have done that. Firstly I was not aware of my what my action implied, because I thought I was being supportive and helpful. However, I realise now that there is a difference being supportive and over supportive to the extent of taking over the project ( and that will have to be the next article).
I know deep down that Goldie was sent to us to help both myself and my daughter to understand this important issue in both our lives.
Good luck to all the parents out there and thanks for allowing me to share my experiences with you. Please let me know whether this article has been helpful!
I would like to thank:
Assistance Dogs Australia for entrusting us with Goldie
Sue and Barbara from Positive Puppies for volunteering their time to help us settle and train us and Goldie.
And Goldie, who has brought so much joy and love to our family.