This is a great topic for discussion this morning.
Scenario: You have your kids with you during your weekly grocery shopping and they are nagging you about getting them some chips and soft drinks they saw on TV advertisements, which come with free gift cards and toys.
You were not planning to purchase the chips and soft drinks in the first place, but you may give in to your children’s demand for the sake of a peaceful day at the super market.
You have two choices here:
1)give in to your children; or
2) stick to your original plan, which is no buying junk food.
You have a choice
Remember, no one can force you to buy anything as you are the one paying for the food.You have the choice to decide whether you purchase the junk food. Children will be children, and they will pressure you, they will whine, they will throw tantrums, and they will cry… Remember, you have a choice.
Option One: You bought the soft drink and chips, and you are now feeling very angry about your decision because for the sake of peaceful shopping you caved in.
Question: What made you purchase the product in the first place? Your children or was it because you did not know how to say NO?
Unfortunately, I have witnessed this scenario many times. Parents give in to their children’s demands for the sake of peace, but knowing that it is not the best decision to make. They feel awful about the decision and become irritated and angry with themselves. In order to lessen the anger, they shift the blame on to the snack food company for the advertisements and the influences the ad have had on their children.
Some parents will go to the extent of trying to ban junk food advertisement by lobbying the government etc, so that the kids will not be influenced. Furthermore, they see their lives being less stressful from their children’s demands/nagging.
Ownership and Accountability
There are many things and temptations that influence your everyday decisions. However, it is your responsibility to take ownership of your decisions and your actions. The advertisements and your children’s persistent nagging are distractions; how you respond to those distractions will determine the outcome of your decisions.
As adults, you need to take ownership of your decisions and actions. You can cave and give in to distractions and beat yourself up, and at the same time behave like a victim and blame everyone and everything except yourself.
Alternatively you can say no, set your personal boundary, and accept the consequences that go with it.
So back to the example above – Option2: If you stick with your original plan and ignore your children’s pleas and nagging, you trust your own decision. You set your own family rules, and you know what is right for your family. And you made it known to your children that there is no point in nagging, because you are not going to give in to either the advertisements, no matter how attractive they seem to be, and neither will you tolerate their nagging…
You children will learn very quickly that you have set your boundary and they won’t be attempting that trick for a very long time.
It is all right to say NO and be OK with it! If you personal boundary is strong, your decision will be respected, and in turn you will be happy and proud of yourself.
Remember, you have a choice. No one can make you do something or purchase anything without your permission!
Happy connecting with your children.