Kids are not listening? Arguing with you? Talking back? Or do they just ignore you?
Do these points resonate with you?
So why is your child or why are your children not listening?
I always go by this rule: “what you are observing or feeling is a reflection of your own action or thoughts!” In another words, if your child is not listening to you, the question you should be asking yourself is: “are you listening to your child in the first place?”
What does consciously listening to your child mean?
Think about when you’re having a conversation with your child – are you consciously listening to them? Do you pay attention to their body language, read their energy or really listen to the meaning behind each word?
Try this experiment: next time when you are engaged in a conversation with your child, really pay attention to whether you are truly listening to the conversation. Try to notice how much information you are listening to and how often your mind is wandering? For example, you may be thinking about what to cook for dinner? Thinking about the number of phone calls you have to make, the housework, what happened at the office…etc..etc etc…
If your child feels that what he or she has to say is not fully understood, appreciated or respected by you, the trust between parent and child is lessened. This is when the communication flow breaks…
So next time when your child is having a conversation with you, drop everything and consciously listen, and genuinely pay attention to what they have to say. Genuinely take interest about their thoughts, their feelings… If you have a younger child, be a bit patient when they try to explain things to you.
So practice this: when your child is trying to convey a message to you, drop everything and consciously pay attention to what they have to say.
Your exercise is:
When you notice your mind starts to wander, whether trying to find a solution or planning to judge them or think of something else, SNAP it straight back and focus on the conversation. Listen and don’t interrupt them.
Give it a go, and you will notice a huge improvement in the flow of communication between you and your child. If you listen to your child, they then learn to listen to you.