The roles of grandparents

Grandparents are the luckiest people on the planet. Don't you agree?

They are the ones who can literally shower their grandchildren with love and attention, without the pressure of instilling discipline. Grandparents can provide ample supply of treats without worrying about the children’s health, and they can be the grandchildren’s confidant when parents are too busy and emotionally fragile to cope.

Let me share with you the benefits of having grandparents in your children’s lives.

I understand the value of having grandparents around. We, my siblings and I, had the privilege of having our grandparents living with us when we were growing up.

I had a wonderful relationship with my grandmother, who was there when I came back from school and cooked my favourite dishes every single day. She was my go-to person, as my parents were very busy working two jobs to support the family.

My grandfather passed away when I was around 12 years old; I still have some very fond memories of him. He was a very gentle person, loved jigsaw puzzles, and he was always on the ‘hunt’ for seasonal fruits to bring home and share with the family. We would crowd around him when he was cutting the fruit. He would be the one supplying us with unlimited treats to my parents’ dismay.

We, the grandchildren, were showered with unlimited attention and being “spoilt” rotten to the core by both grandparents.

From the view point of a child

From a child’s viewpoint, our grandparents were our “shields” or “protectors” against our often strict, cranky and “unreasonable” parents (viewpoint of a child). Whenever we were not happy with our parents, our grandparents would be the go-to person; they were our outlet to vent about what seemed to be the harsh and unfair treatment from our parents.

In the eyes of a young child, we thought we could do no wrong in our grandparents’ eyes – but we learned that was a myth! We thought we could out smart them easily, but beware… they had 50 more years of life experience than we had and 50 times more street sense than us. … So the consequences of our misbehavior were much more severe than what our parents would give us.

My grandparents’ food was much more delicious than my parents’ – so we thought then. Now I understand – that’s because my grandparents had more time to prepare, whereas my mum had very little time on her hands and she was tired by the end of the day.

From the view point of now being a parent

I can truly say that we benefited greatly. We learned our grandparents’ wisdom and life skills through our daily interactions.

Unfortunately, my children, who were born in Australia, have not had that opportunity. Both my parents living in Malaysia, and my parents-in-law have since passed away.

I felt my children’s’ loss as they could not:

• learn about their hertitage
• have fun interacting with their grandparents, like I did with mine
• hear the stories that my parents would be able to share them when both myself and my husband were too busy and tired
• to have the time to share and learn the techniques of preparing our traditional food.

Most importantly, I miss my parents supporting our children during the times we couldn’t.

I hope you will have the opportunity to connect with your parents. Let your children enjoy the wisdom and love of their grandparents.

Have a connected day with your family.

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