Do you have the relationships with your children that will enable you to be the go-to-person when your teenager needs guidance?
Do your children feel safe to confide in you and express their feelings?
Do your children trust you with their inner most fears or secrets?
Do you have the relationships with your children where you instinctively know that you child needs you or you can “read” their mood even without them telling you?
Your relationships with your children
It is every parent’s wish and hope that they will have good relationships with their children, be connected and keep them close throughout their lives.
With parents working harder than before, making time and space in your life to care for your children can be a challenge.However, in order to build solid and close relationships with your children, it is something you may have to work at; prioritising your focus, time and energy on your children is something all parents need to consider.
You see, close relationships are built through daily interactions and shared experiences. It is through problem solving together and communications that you establish that deep sense of connections, i.e. understanding and respecting each other.
It is about putting your child’s needs as a priority, and remember the commitment you made when you decided to bring the wonderful child of yours to the world.
It is not enough you tell your child how much you love them, invest in expensive electronic gadgets and gifts or expensive travels and hotels…It is fine to show appreciation to your children, but in order to build the relationships and connections you desire with your children, it is about putting your commitment and love in action everyday and not just as a once off extravagant party or expensive trip.
So how can you build and sustain the daily commitment and attention to your children?
Be emotionally available when communicating or spending time with your children and be interested in what they have to say or do.
By doing that, you child will sense your emotional ability to engage with them, that you are interested to know about their day and hear what they have to share. Your child will feel safe and relaxed when sharing and communicating with you.
Pay attention and fully focus on your child’s needs. When are able to step back, have more space in your mind to be present and attentive, you tend to have better access to your natural parenting instinct. If you sense your child is in need of some emotional support, you will know when to be there for them and how to approach the issues. It is all in you.
For younger children, this bonding is more important, as they will feel safer and more secure when their needs are met. They will have less fear, be more settled and have fewernightmares, less stress and fewer tantrums during the day.
Problem solve: Every family is different in their values and needs. But one thing is for sure, every child needs to feel safe for them to thrive and build emotional competency to mature and handle the day to day challenges and stress.
You child needs to know that their emotions and feelings are understood and validated by parents.Therefore, if your child needs help to problem solve, involve them and find solutions together rather than punishing them for their mistakes. By involving your children in problem solving, it empowers them to think and open up to more understanding, accept responsibility and be accountable for their actions. Through this, it deepens the connections with you and your child.
Shared Experiences: Connections are built on day to day interactions that you share together with your child, such as shopping, sharing house chores, enjoying family meals, reading etc.Everything that you do together is a great way to connect and build relationships.
Your connections with your children today will be the foundation of your relationships with your children in the future. Start the connection process when you children are young, as no amount of parenting courses or skills in the future will make up for the lack of connections with your children when they were younger.