Yesterday I had the privilege of being invited to a mother's/play group environment and mingled with new mums (a few of them are quite new to Australia) with young children. I had the privilege of chatting with them and learning about their experiences.
Most of them have demanding jobs, but are currently taking time off to spend quality time with their child/children. It is such as privilege to be able to spend these important developing years with their children, to get to know them better, to connect and to bond with them.
During the conversations, I touched on a topic about spending "quality time" with their children and why it is important. So I thought I'd write about quality time and why it is important when it comes to the relationships with our children.
There is no denying, our children need our attention and time. Parents are juggling work, home chores, time for extended families and so many other things, and getting through the day with everyone safe and well, as well as fed and clothed, is no mean feat.
And by the end of the day, everyone is just so tired, so you may not want to think about quality time…
I get you…
However, we need to understand that the foundation of any relationship is to first establish the connections with the people involved, i.e. your children.
Let's imagine the following scenario…
- Will you be the go-to person when your children need advice and help?
- Will you be the person to protect and stand by your children when they made bad decisions and still love them unconditionally?
- Will your children trust you and feel safe enough to approach you for emotional support?
- Are you able to exert your influence on your children and steer them in more productive directions?
When we talk about quality time – it is about making that one on one time with your children, being emotionally available when communicating with them, which can be laughing hysterically together without any good reason, doing home chores together, driving them around for their after school activities, making amends after challenging incidents, having a nice meal together, shopping together, cooking together etc.
It is about making time to get to know each other better, to build deeper relationships that cater for their individual needs and at their level, to gradually build intimacy and trust. It is these emotional attunements or non-verbal communication between you and your children that you are striving for.
The more attuned you are to your child's / children's needs, the more secure, safe, understood and valued your child / children will feel. Through these mutual trust, respect and unconditional love from you, only then will your children be open to be guided by you, and be willing to listen and to do their best in order to please you.
I hope was able to impart some wisdom to new mums yesterday – and to you. It was an interesting afternoon chatting and I would love to hear more about their experiences, their challenges and expectations, as well as yours.
Have a wonderful day with your family!
Download the 30 Fun and Joyful ways you can create connections with your children.